What do I do if I just tried to p gas but my bunghole ruptured instead?

Well Unfortunately the same thing happened to me in the spring of 97. Back then we ate our Meatloaf with saltine crackers mixed in and the ketchup cooked to crispy perfection. After I expelled a wet gas I felt a bulge in the rear side of my pants along with a sharp pain. It was like a dog sitting on its own tail with a warm wet sensation. To make a long story short I got mama to fire up the hot glue gun and she fixed my inside out pot roast up in a jiffy. Talk about a scare though! Find a pair of gentle hands and a hot glue gun and that bunghole will be good as a new born babys. Cheers